youre lurking in front of me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
