I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
