Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
