grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
