omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
