Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
