When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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