yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My breasts were aching with rage.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
