I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You're so nebulous sometimes
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
