im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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