All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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