how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
True strength comes from lack of pants
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
