I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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