So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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