P.S. I can't hear my feet
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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