god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
