We're facebook friends in real life
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
