I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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