I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
