I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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