Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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