Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
