Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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