listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
