i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
