I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
