Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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