Need sex. Gaining weight.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
