D3 body, D1 cock
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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