I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
