I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
