he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i've created a new STD.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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