Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
