this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
