god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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