everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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