i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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