so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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