Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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