Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
