I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
