Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
honey bunches of taint.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
