I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
