Ambien. No doubt about it.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
