we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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