I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize