So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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