All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
God, I missed his penis.
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