Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
