Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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