you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
