i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
