I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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