shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
