I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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