We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
